TO LEAVE YOU

I have built myself a fortress

Where I’ve been hiding 

Where I’ve been safe, sound 

But now you’ve dug yourself a hollow in my garden 

So you can swim in darkness

And I’ve placed myself beside it

To hold your hand if you come out 

if you come out

I don’t know for who I’m longing 

Is it you or your reflection in my mind?

But I know now, what I am hoping for 

Building cages ‘round my chest to leave you out

To leave you 

To leave

I must build myself a new house 

With a fence and alarms 

Round the edge so you can’t come 

I’ll have torches in the ceilings 

So I can swim in visions 

Of you with your inside out 

Naked and screaming and fighting me 

Frightening me

I don’t know for who I’m longing 

Is it you or your reflection in my mind?

But I know now, what I am hoping for 

Building cages round my chest to leave you out

To leave you 

To leave

I don’t know for who I’m longing 

Is it you or your reflection in my mind?

But I know now, what I am hoping for 

I’m building cages round my chest to leave you out

To leave you 

To leave

 

CHANGE

I am really good at writing mean words that would hurt 

if I said them, if I dared I would

Let them slip my throat

Stick them through your ribs 

At my will

I don’t bare to speak of the anger that breeds in me

I don’t bare to say that I

Love you and I want you and I hate you

I hate you now 

Now 

But I am silent 

Hoping that you’ll change 

Burning in my mouth 

Words that cant escape my tongue  

Clogging up my throat 

Withering my inside

So I am peeling off my skin

And pulling all my seems apart 

I am doing all I can to keep my mouth from letting loose on you 

I am silent 

Hoping that you’ll change for me 

 

SHALLOW DIGGER

I am a child of the sun

I rise with her when morning comes

She is wiser than I’ll ever be, ever see, ever know

She is wiser than I’ll ever be, ever see, ever know

And I’ve been told I can listen if I’d like

But to her wisdom I am blind

I was born from her light

I am born, I am blind

Shallow digger I am hunting gold, want it all, give me more

Shallow digger I am hunting gold, want it all, give me more

 

CRAZY

I’m up at dawn

Clawing at the walls

Calling your name

I scratch until I bleed

’Til the echo of my plead is tamed

And I call upon your greed

I call upon your needs 

Like a foolish woman

Cause I’m a poet, I observe and I

Grasp upon a need to feel 

I’m up and off the wall for you

Crazy

Writing songs for you

I’m up and off the wall for you

Crazy

Cause I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know you

I’m brittle, I am bleak

I am tearing at my seams

And I’ve lost my brain

You are the winner of this play

I have folded, I am lame

But I’m no child, I’m not naive

I know what it is you want from me

It is the thrill of the chase and the dance of the girl

So I twist and I dance and I twirl 

Up and off the wall for you

I’m crazy

Writing songs for you

I’m up and off the wall for you

Crazy

When I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know you

I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know you

 

 

 

BLANKET

I would come 

as you would run

And I would fall into pieces

And I would chase after you

Like I was poison 

And you were my aim

I would yell

Out your name

Watch your gaze fly to the floor

Oh but never mind 

You were never mine 

You’ve spilled your secret - 

Now spill your crime 

Cause in the mornings, in the evenings I would wait, but my patience would spill

On the floors and on the ceilings, through my mouth as I called for you

I called

Called 

And I would fold 

Yes I would fold 

Cause I am a blanket

And you were cold

 

LIKE I USED TO

In the blankets, in the sheets, on my bed

I can feel you holding back, going red

From all the lies and the words that you hide

There’s a boulder on your chest from the weight

Of the words that you keep to yourself 

I am staring at your back, you are staring on the wall

You don’t love me like you used to

You don’t love me like you used to

And I don’t love you like I used to 

I love you too much

Your silence reeks of cheating, reeks of her

I can sense her in your mouth on my neck 

And in your screaming at the mention of her name

And your anger spills like bullets to my brain

Like an animal in fright I’m insane 

And I run for cover from your aim in your arms

You don’t love me like you used to

You don’t love me like you used to

And I don’t love you like I used to 

I love you too much

So I stick my brain in the sand 

Watch me fold 

Watch me wither

I stick my brain in the sand

Watch me fold

Watch me fold

Watch me fold

You don’t love me like you used to

You don’t love me like you used to

And I don’t love you like I used to

 I love you too much

 

 

 

NOT ALONE

Don’t you make me feel alone 

Don’t you make me feel I’m wrong

Without a man to hold my arm

Cause I’m not owned

But that’s nothing wrong

I am on my own

On my own 

On my own

But I’m not alone

I’m not cold

I feel it all

But I am bold 

I take control

Cause life is short 

And love is rare

I am on my own

On my own 

On my own

I am on my own

On my own 

On my own

But I’m not alone

I’m not alone

 

BERRY & WHYTHE

On my bed we lived alone

Under my sheets you'd hide and I’d just lie there

Waiting on you to come back

But you made a a big black whole to bathe in through the night

With me at your side

We’ve all got some place to crawl 

But you, you made it your bed

You made it and made me lie in it

Like we were already dead and done and gone and dead and done 

In New york city we must lie

Bury us between Berry & Whythe

In New york city we must stay now

Laid to rest between Berry & Whythe

I would have stayed if you’d asked

If you had wanted me to 

But I’m at my best with an ocean between me and you 

Still I’d be glad if you stayed 

Quite close to the shore with a flaming torch so I can see you 

From my boat, cause I’m coming in 

To bury us in the land and the life that I left

In New york city we must lie

Bury us between Berry & Whythe

Cause in New york city we must stay now

Laid to rest between Berry & Whythe

 

 

WE ARE NOT IN LOVE

There’s an outline on your chest

From my fingernails from every time you’ve left 

Every day and night for a year

I waited for you, dear

I could feel it in my bones

But my heart is made from stubbornness and hope

No one wants to loose in love 

And I don’t wanna loose 

I don’t wanna loose you

But we are not in love

So I fill my life with things

To keep my mind off’ you

And I fill my chest with drink

To give myself some company

Cause your mind is never made 

And your heart is only happy in it’s grave 

Your were made a mellow kind

And you were never mine 

You were never mine

Cause we are not in love 

We are not not in love

We are not the in love

And every time you reach for me I fold like a blanket around you

Every time you reach for me I fold like a blanket around you

And every time I let you back

We are not in love 

We are not

We are not 

 

SPACE

In the night

By your side

On the bed

We are mighty, we are lust we are

We are light

Bring me in

On your skin

Trace me down 

In your gaze, in your mind is there space for me?

In the light

Of the day

All is quiet 

I’m a mess, you’re a pile and it’s not

It’s not right

 

HOW WE USED TO LOVE

I ran into a woman on the sidewalk

‘cause I was thinking too much about us

Dreaming of you and all we’ve lost

‘Cause now you’re always so angry

You’re always so sad

You’re mad about everything and everyone and I

I don’t have the heart for that

How we used to love 

I’m afraid for our future

I’m afraid it won’t last

‘Cause you’ve got too many scars to hide

And I haven’t got enough to understand why

Why are you always so sad 

Why are you always so 

Why are you always so sad?

How we used to love 

How we used to love 

How we used to love

How we used to love

 

DARK

Someone told me there is light at the end of every tunnel

Said there’s a light there waiting for me 

But I don’t believe it, not now, not ever

It’s always dark when I go home

I am the dark one in my bloodline

I fear my shadow like a beast

It’s a lingering mellow that won’t leave me 

I fear one day it’ll swallow me whole 

And at times I pray for the darkest days 

Oh to swallow me so that I can’t pray

For the better days oh to come my way

Cause I don’t believe in them

No I don’t believe in them 

 

FIX YOU

Every word you say 

Poison in my blood

But there’s a fire in my veins

When you say you’ll stay

With your hands on my chest

Your lips on my neck

And you say “I’m broken”

“Oh baby, I’m broken”

ch: I can’t fix you

But I want to try

I can’t fix you

v.2: You say you believe in actions, not words

But I don’t want to believe yours

They hurt too much

And It lingers in my head 

Maybe everything you’ve said are lies

All lies

ch: I can’t fix you

But I want to try

I can’t fix you

Br: If we leave this alone 

Will we be on our own

If we leave this alone 

Will we be on our own 

Alone 

ch: I can’t fix you

But I want to try

I can’t fix you

But I want to

I want to 

I want to 

I want to 

I want to try 

BURIED IN TREASURE

He sleeps in a corner with 13 cats

A blanket of litter, the air stenched and bitter 

A dragon guarding his gold 

His house is a cave full of useless things

Pictures in pieces lie scattered in bins

But to him they’re diamonds and dreams

ch: And he will stay there ‘til the end of his days

Gathering memories in trashcans and trays

Days are wasted in a careless world 

And salt is burning my gaze

As I watch him wither away

Buried in treasure

v2: His fingers are trembling through dresses and skirts 

Searching through mountains of sweaters and shirts 

For a sign or the smell of her smile

To keep them together, to keep her alive

So he won’t remember the day when she died

As his heart oh it travels back in time 

ch: And he will stay there ‘til the end of his days

Gathering memories in trashcans and trays

Days are wasted in a careless world

And salt is burning my gaze

As I watch him wither away 

Buried in treasure

Br: He tries to change 

Stays the same 

Passes time in a haze

He’s a broken clock

His years are lost

Lost 

ch. x 2

 

CAROLINE

Caroline’s reflection doesn’t match it’s mate

Blinks in vain, because the image stays the same 

The mirror’s careless to the hollow gaze

Staring blankly without a trace of hope to lean on 

v. 2: Caroline plays his part so perfectly

With bows and pearls, he’s dressed in someone else’s dream 

Prays to change what’s carved in stone

But desire never leaves his heart alone

ch: Will he always be alone?

Behind bars, hiding scars and playing parts

He has the right mind in the wrong body

v.3: Caroline is dreaming of a different life

Where his frame is made to match his mind 

Cause to him it’s a simple choice

He wants to be like the other boys 

But like a bird without it’s wings

He is caged without the means to fly and so he sings

So he sings

ch: Will I always be alone?

Behind bars, playing parts and hiding scars

With the right mind in the wrong body

The right mind in the wrong body 

 

BULLET

You're like a bullet in my chest

Your aim is perfect

Every time I lay myself down for you

I paint a circle on my chest

To make it easier for you to aim just right

ch: And I lie down and wait 

I lie down and wait

Like bait laid out in the woods

v. 2 I draw our memory in the snow 

Willing it to freeze

for the frost to bite your tongue 

But you’re a howler, you’re a wolf 

And in the dead night 

I swear I hear you calling for me 

 ch: And I lie down and wait 

I lie down and wait

I lie down and wait 

Like bait laid out in the woods

I’m bait laid out in the woods